Hi again! Okay, so we addressed anxiety around COVID-19. Quick summary: Communicate your needs; if your needs are not met, change your plans. You only control YOU. Next up, anxiety around preparation for the holiday. As you know, I work with a large amount of parents. I am seeing parents stressed out about making up for a not-so-good Thanksgiving last year. Talk about pressure!

Preparing for any holiday is stressful! Dealing with family members who have differing views than us is stressful! Now we are adding pressure for ourselves to have a double amazing holiday?! I am exhausted just thinking about it!

Where is this pressure coming from?

First, you need to look at where this pressure is coming from. Are you putting it on yourself? Maybe you are thinking you have to make things extra special for your kids because they missed out last year. Let me tell you, kids are resilient. Maybe you are thinking you have to make things extra special for elderly family members, as this could be their last Thanksgiving with you. Do you really think they want to see you stressed because of them?

Is someone else putting this pressure on you? Please know this is an issue with THEM and NOT you. If you don’t believe that, keep saying it to yourself until you do.

Regardless of where this is coming from, you are only one person and can only do so much. I believe no preparation for a holiday should be to the point where it takes a toll on your mental health. It can be difficult to ask for help when we need it, especially for those of us that struggle with anxiety or perfectionism. I am giving you permission to ask for help!! I am challenging you to ask for it if you need it!! This does not mean you have failed in some way. It means you are doing what you need to in order to protect your mental health!

If what you need to do is manageable on your own, I suggest you break larger tasks into smaller ones so that it is not as overwhelming.

Normalcy and Connection

.At this point, I think I can confidently say we all just want some normalcy in our lives, as well as connection with our family and/or friends. Can we focus on that connection? No matter how much we prepare and stress over Thanksgiving, things do not always go as planned. I talk often with patients about focusing on what you have CONTROL over, rather than the things you don’t. You have control over finding ways to make this holiday as least stressful as possible for yourself.

If your anxiety monster is telling you that everything needs to be amazing and you need to go to extensive lengths to make everything perfect, you can rudely say to it, “Leave me alone! I am going to do what is best for ME!” And I can promise you, what your anxiety monster is telling you is NOT what is best for you.

• If you missed the “anxiety monster” post, go read it here: https://www.howtobeatanxiety.org/how-do-i-beat-anxiety/

• To all those who do not have a connection with their family or friends for Thanksgiving, I see you and am thinking of you <3