It is interesting to me that people wait for a new year to start setting goals for themselves. Why do we do that?

Well, the start of a new year is a time where we reflect on the past year. We look back and look for areas we can improve on. Our mindset may be different, in that we see this as a fresh start. You often hear about people wanting to exercise more, lose weight, save money, or eat healthier.

Why do these goals fails?

I am all about people taking steps to improve their lives. I believe this is so important! I am sure you have heard that most New Year’s resolutions last less than a month.

Ever had a month of January where you start working out, maybe give up alcohol, or maybe eat healthy? Then February comes and you give up. Why did you give up?

My guess is that you set goals for yourself that were likely not realistic. It is easy to fall into the trap of setting unrealistic goals for ourselves. Maybe you hear other people doing it or maybe you think about it as something you just have to do. 

If you decide to make a resolution for the new year, I want you to stop and think about what is realistic for YOU. Not your neighbor, best friend, coworker, or family member. YOU. I want you to set yourself up for success.

For example, let’s say I set a resolution that I am going to start running at least one mile a day. I am not a runner. In fact, I really don’t like to run and I have no interest in starting.

Do you honestly think I will just start running a mile on day one? I know myself enough to know that is not going to happen. This would not be a realistic resolution for myself. Make sense?

You are the expert on you. If you want to start exercising more and you are sedentary now, start with walking around your home for a few minutes a day. Don’t let anyone tell you what your resolution should be. You will only end up hurting yourself in the end.

So how does this relates to anxiety and depression?

I’m sure you have figured out that not meeting our goals can cause us anxiety, as well as feeling down or depressed. We beat ourselves up for not achieving what we set out to achieve. We are mean to ourselves. If you go and read my social media post about kindness from December 16th, you will know that this does not work in motivating us to make change. Putting ourselves down does not work. Read that again.

You know those “I should” statements? I should have been able to follow through on my resolution. I should have done better. I should be stronger. Those statements are the ones that make us feel terrible about ourselves. They may us feel guilty. These lead to anxiety and depression.

You have control over the goals you set for yourself. Remember that.

I am also saying that you do not have to set any resolutions for yourself. I do not believe we need a new year to start making change. If the new year helps motivate you, then go for it.

If it does not, that is okay! We can make changes at any time throughout the year. When we are depressed and anxious, we tend to put off the things that could help us feel better now.

The idea that we will do things when we feel better is the same thing that keeps us stuck. If I am depressed and know that exercising helps improve my mood, then maybe I do a few minutes on my stationary bike.

Let’s start doing those things now. But remember, it does not have to be because it is a new year.

Xoxo,

Andrea