Finding a therapist can feel a little like online dating. You read profiles. Look at credentials you may not fully understand. Try to figure out whether someone sounds like they’d “get” you. And then somehow you’re supposed to make a decision based on a headshot and a few paragraphs.
But when you’re looking specifically for help with anxiety, there are a few things worth paying attention to beyond whether someone simply lists “anxiety” on their website. Not every therapist treats anxiety the same way. And not every person with anxiety needs the same type of treatment.
Here are some things I think are worth considering.
1.) Look for Someone Who Understands Your Specific Type of Anxiety
This is probably one of the most important things. “Anxiety” is a huge umbrella term.
Someone might be experiencing:
Generalized anxiety and constant worry
Panic attacks
Social anxiety
Health anxiety
Specific phobias
School anxiety or school avoidance
Separation anxiety
Intrusive thoughts
OCD
Anxiety related to ADHD
Anxiety associated with sensory sensitivities or autism
A therapist can honestly say they treat anxiety and still have limited experience with the specific issue you’re struggling with. For example, treating someone with a fear of flying may look very different from treating panic disorder. And treating generalized anxiety isn’t the same as treating OCD.
When looking at a therapist’s profile, don’t be afraid to get specific. If you’re struggling with panic attacks, look for someone who understands panic. If you have OCD, ask about their experience with ERP. If your child is refusing school because of anxiety, look for someone who understands anxiety-based school
avoidance. You don’t necessarily need a therapist who has treated your exact life situation before (although I would recommend it!). But you do want someone who understands the patterns involved in what you’re experiencing.
2.) Ask About Their Treatment Approach
You don’t need to be an expert in therapy terminology, but you should have a general idea of how your therapist plans to help you.
For anxiety, evidence-based treatment may include:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Exposure-based therapy
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) for OCD
Behavioral interventions
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Emotional regulation strategies
A therapist doesn’t need to use every single one of these approaches. What matters is whether they can explain their approach in a way that makes sense. For example, if you’re struggling with significant avoidance, a therapist should be able to explain how treatment will help you gradually start doing the things anxiety has convinced you to avoid. If you’re struggling with OCD, they should understand the difference between helping someone manage general anxiety and helping someone break the obsession-compulsion cycle.
You should be able to ask:
“How do you typically treat this?”
And get an answer that feels more helpful than:
“We’ll talk about whatever you want to talk about.”
3.) Look for Specialized Training When It Matters
General therapy training is valuable, but some concerns benefit from more specialized experience. OCD is a great example. A therapist may be highly skilled and experienced but not have specialized training in OCD treatment. When looking for an OCD therapist, ask specifically about experience with Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
The same idea applies to other concerns. If your child has significant school avoidance, you may want someone who understands exposure-based approaches and how to work with families and schools.
If you’re seeking help for ADHD-related challenges, look for someone who understands executive functioning, not just anxiety management.
Specialization doesn’t mean a therapist has to have a certification for every single concern they treat. But it does mean they should understand the evidence-based approaches most appropriate for the problems they’re helping you address.
4.) Find Someone Who Looks Beyond the Word “Anxiety”
This is something I’m particularly passionate about. Sometimes anxiety is the primary problem. Other times, anxiety is a symptom, consequence, or complication of something else.
For example, someone with ADHD may develop significant anxiety after years of feeling overwhelmed, falling behind, forgetting things, struggling with organization, or worrying that they’ve missed something important.
Someone who is autistic may experience anxiety related to sensory overload, difficulty with unexpected changes, social demands, or constantly trying to navigate environments that don’t feel predictable.
Sometimes social anxiety is partly related to a genuine lack of confidence in social situations. If someone doesn’t know how to join a conversation, what to say, or how to read social cues, repeatedly exposing them to social situations without helping them build skills may not address the whole problem.
This doesn’t mean every anxious person has ADHD or autism. It means a good therapist should be willing to ask: What is contributing to this person’s anxiety? Because sometimes treating anxiety more effectively requires understanding where it may be coming from.
5.) Credentials Matter, But Don’t Let Them Completely Overwhelm You
Therapist credentials can be confusing.
LPC. LMHC. LCSW. LMFT. PsyD. PhD.
You don’t necessarily need to understand every letter after someone’s name. Generally, you want to make sure the person you’re working with is appropriately licensed to provide mental health services in the state where you are located.
Beyond that, experience and specialization can sometimes tell you more about whether someone is a good fit than the specific letters after their name.
For example, two licensed therapists may have very different areas of expertise. One may specialize in trauma. Another may work primarily with couples. Another may specialize in anxiety and OCD. Another may focus on children and families. Licensure tells you that someone has met professional requirements. Their experience and training can help you understand whether they are the right person for your specific concern.
6.) Consider Whether You Want a More Structured Approach
Therapy can look very different depending on the therapist. Some people prefer open-ended conversations where sessions unfold naturally. Others want more structure. For anxiety treatment, I often think it’s helpful for clients to have some understanding of what they’re working toward. That doesn’t mean every session needs to follow a rigid script.
But you should generally know:
What you’re working on
Why you’re working on it
What patterns you’re trying to change
How you’ll know if you’re making progress
For example, if anxiety has caused you to stop driving, avoid social situations, constantly seek reassurance, or repeatedly check things, treatment should eventually address those behaviors.
Talking about why you’re anxious can be helpful at times, but it doesn’t help it get better. Understanding anxiety and changing the patterns that maintain it are not the same thing.
7.) Pay Attention to How They Talk About Progress
Therapy isn’t always linear. Some weeks will feel easier than others, and sometimes working on anxiety requires temporarily feeling uncomfortable. But a therapist should still have some way of helping you recognize progress.
That might include:
Feeling less controlled by anxiety
Avoiding fewer situations
Reducing reassurance-seeking
Having fewer compulsive behaviors
Being able to tolerate uncertainty
Returning to activities anxiety had taken away
Feeling more confident handling difficult situations
The goal isn’t to never feel anxious again. Anxiety is a normal human emotion. The goal is to prevent anxiety from making all of your decisions for you.
8.) Don’t Underestimate Communication Style
Training and experience are important. But you also have to be able to work with the person.
You may prefer someone who is:
Warm and conversational
Direct and straightforward
Highly structured
Flexible
More focused on practical skills
More focused on understanding patterns
There isn’t one personality type that makes someone the “best” therapist. The best therapist for you may not be the best therapist for someone else. You want someone who can challenge you when necessary but doesn’t make you feel dismissed or judged. Someone you can ask questions. Someone who explains things in a way you understand. And someone you feel comfortable being honest with, even when you’re embarrassed about what you’re experiencing.
Questions You Can Ask a Potential Anxiety Therapist
If you’re considering working with a therapist, you don’t have to simply hope they’re a good fit.
Ask questions.
Some helpful ones include:
What types of anxiety do you treat most often?
What is your approach to treating anxiety?
Do you use CBT?
Do you incorporate exposure-based therapy?
What experience do you have treating OCD?
How do you approach treatment for children and teens?
How involved are parents in treatment?
How structured are your sessions?
How will we know whether therapy is working?
What happens if you think I need a different type of support?
You aren’t being difficult by asking questions. You’re trying to make an informed decision about your care. And a therapist should be comfortable talking with you about how they work.
What If You Still Don’t Know What to Look For?
Sometimes the problem is that you don’t even know what kind of help you’re looking for yet. Maybe you’re wondering whether your anxiety is actually anxiety. Maybe ADHD is playing a role. Maybe you’re questioning whether autism could explain some of what you’ve experienced. Maybe you’ve been in therapy before and aren’t sure why it didn’t help. Or maybe you’re trying to figure out whether your child needs therapy, an evaluation, school support, or something else.
You don’t always need to have those answers before reaching out. Sometimes the first step is simply talking through the questions with someone who understands the mental health system and can help you think about potential next steps.
That’s one reason I offer Care Navigation consultations. They are designed for individuals and parents who aren’t necessarily ready to jump into ongoing therapy but need help sorting through questions, understanding their options, and figuring out where to start.
The Bottom Line
When looking for an anxiety therapist, don’t just look for someone who says they “treat anxiety.” Look for someone who understands your type of anxiety.
Ask about their experience, treatment approach, and specialized training when appropriate. Find out whether they look beyond symptoms and consider what may be contributing to your anxiety in the first place. And remember that credentials matter, but so do experience, communication style, and whether the therapist can clearly explain how they plan to help. The right therapist doesn’t need to have every credential or use every therapy technique. They need to understand what you’re struggling with and have a thoughtful plan for helping you move forward.
Looking for Anxiety or OCD Therapy?
I provide virtual therapy for children, teens, and adults throughout Connecticut and New York. I specialize in anxiety and OCD treatment and also work with ADHD-related challenges and concerns that can overlap with anxiety.
If you’re unsure whether therapy is the right next step, or you’re trying to figure out what type of support you or your child may need, my Care Navigation service can help you organize your questions and explore possible next steps.
Your cheerleader,
Andrea